Welcome to Jean's Blog
Dedicated to Your Personal and Professional Development
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A group facilitator helps kick start conversation and creates a safe environment for open dialogue. A good discussion can begin with a well thought out question. Let’s talk about two types of questions:
Open Ended and Closed Ended
A Closed Ended Question can be answered in just a word or two: How many years have you been at your company? The participant can answer, “Five” and no conversation ignites.
An Open Ended Question invites a longer answer and encourages discussion: What was your experience like as a new hire at your company? This questions invites the person to tell a story.
To engage your group in a discussion, present an open ended question.
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In my writing this morning, three words popped up:
Kindness
Curiosity
Trust
I think I’d like these comforting words to be my theme for 2012. Because at this time of year, I can get pretty intense with plans for January and beyond. Do you get that? And that intensity can have an insidious message lurking underneath – you’re not good enough exactly as you are.
So yes, I want to grow as a person and professional in the New Year. I also want to temper these desires with K.C.T. – Kindness, Curiosity and Trust.
If you were to pick your theme, what might it be? I’d love to hear.
That’s it for December! Thank you for joining me here each month. It’s an honor to be included in your life.
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On Thursday morning two weeks ago, I called my colleague and friend, Terrence, to congratulate him on his upcoming role as President of the local chapter of our training association. Just like Terrence he called me back right away. That afternoon, he was working out, collapsed and died.
Here. Then not here.
My mind couldn’t make sense of it. I called my mom and realized how lucky I was that she was there to pick up the phone and talk to me. It’s been a strange season and a sad time.
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This note is about keeping a cool head during the trickiest financial month of the year. There can be a lot of pressure to close one’s
eyes, dive into the fizzy, spending frenzy and emerge with a fiscal hangover come January. With a bit of planning – even just a few days from December – we can bring ourselves the pleasure of a more peaceful, centered holiday.Consider a quick spending plan for the month. Here’s how:
- Take note of all the usual expenses – food, gas, utilities, etc.
- Add in those special holiday costs such as gifts, cards, postage
and travel - Whip out a calculator and see what the numbers have to say
When I do this, I ask myself, “Is my spending and earning in balance?” If not, it’s time to make some adjustments. Can I earn more? Can I spend less? How can I get creative to make this month work?
What are your tips for holiday solvency and serenity? I’d love to hear them and would be happy to share them.
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Here are a few tips about preparation. You will hear me mention WIIFM. That stands for “What’s In It For Me?” This is a great question to consider when preparing for a tough conversation. What does the other person stand to gain by hearing you?
A huge thank you to Terrence Wing at Liquid Learn for his steady camera work. You’re a generous, friend, Terry!
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My first feature film recommendation.
Update! To see the film on iTunes, it’s $10. Worth it!
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In 2005, my friend Steve told me, “I love my job.” I was envious because at the time I felt unfulfilled in my work. I realize now that envy can be a gift. It acts as a neon sign that announces, “I want this for myself!” And it presents two options – change nothing and remain safe and miserable or do something different.
Here are three ways to do something different:
- Clarify – What about this person’s experience do I want? As it related to Steve, I realized that I wanted to use more of my creative skills, and I wanted to wake up in the morning looking forward to going to work.
- Self esteem check up – For me there’s often a hidden worthiness issue to clear up. I had to explore why I felt undeserving of a happy work life and with the help of therapy, affirmations and supportive friends turn that (crap) around.
- Bless their success – To bring my thinking to a more positive place, I now catch myself when I’m feeling envy and quickly wish that person happiness and well being.
Today I can honestly say, “I love my job!” And I no longer feel Steve-envy.
Have you ever moved from envy to achievement? What are your tips?
Growth can come from envy!
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A farmer’s only horse runs away. Neighbors come over to exclaim, “We heard the awful news!”
The farmer replies, “Good news? Bad news? We don’t know.”
The horse comes back with a second horse. The farmer’s son rides the horse, falls and breaks his leg.
The neighbors once again lament, “Such unfortunate news!”
The farmer replies, “Good news, bad news? We don’t know.”
Government officials come to the village to conscript soldiers; the son isn’t chosen because of his injury.
This farmer has figured out how to avoid labeling life events as catastrophes. And I believe this detachment and open mindedness can apply to life today…
The news: I was let go from a job in the midst of the economic downturn.
The result: I got a tax refund, used my down time to visit my sister in Germany and was able to return to that job a few months
later.The news: A client I worked with this year was the hardest of my career.
The result: I got to see what I was made of and was soon after hired by another firm that was a much better fit.
Can you apply the Farmer’s Wisdom to aspects of your life? I’d love to hear how.
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I went on a retreat this weekend – an organized event to help each participant create a vision board. (A vision board is a poster board with images and words on it that describe the kind of life you’d like to create. If you google it , you’ll find tons of stuff.) I carpooled with two friends. On the way, we had lots of quiet moments taking in the stunning scenery.
Upon arrival, we were greeted with welcome packets and name badges. I felt anxious at first. I unpacked my stuff and made up my bunk bed. It felt like I was nesting – making a safe space for me.
Once the opening program began, I began to feel happy. A gifted facilitator led all fifty of us in a guided meditation. There were candles lit and the sound of her peaceful voice. It started the weekend off just right.
On Saturday morning, we were assembled in a room full of magazines, art supplies and blank poster boards. A leader, Kathy, offered a structured way to get started, but my style was very organic. As the day progressed, I began to judge what I was doing and silently decided my board was sub standard. Silliness. As I write this I remember I had the same thoughts last time I created a vision board. Again, silliness.
Some moments during the day I wanted solitude. I took several walks by myself. Once I found a quiet place to simply cry about a recent break up – my tears falling right into the earth. It felt great and healing. Other times I wanted to be with people – I had soulful conversations at every meal. I went to bed early, read my book from the top bunk in the dorm room, went to sleep with ear plugs in place and had lots and lots of dreams.
The retreat finished on Sunday morning with each person getting a chance to present their vision board. Listening to people one after another speaking about what means most to them – it’s hard to explain the beauty of this. One member called the whole process, “alchemy” and to me there was something sacred, healing and life altering occurring.
I considered for a moment not sharing my board. It felt too vulnerable and, “it wasn’t a real board,” I told myself. Then my right mind told me that it is a generous act when I share. Beautiful, supportive friends cried with me as I gave words to my grief and described what the pictures meant to me.
The ride home was an easy flow. We said our goodbyes and the retreat was over.
Do you crave time away from the busyness of life to go on a retreat? Have you been on one that was really meaningful? I’d love to hear your thoughts. And if you’d like to create a Vision Fridge, at home here’s your chance
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I went on a retreat this weekend – an organized event to help each participant create a vision board. (A vision board is a poster board with images and words on it that describe the kind of life you’d like to create. If you google it , you’ll find tons of stuff.) I carpooled with two friends. On the way, we had lots of quiet moments taking in the stunning scenery.
Upon arrival, we were greeted with welcome packets and name badges. I felt anxious at first. I unpacked my stuff and made up my bunk bed. It felt like I was nesting – making a safe space for me.
Once the opening program began, I began to feel happy. A gifted facilitator led all fifty of us in a guided meditation. There were candles lit and the sound of her peaceful voice. It started the weekend off just right.
On Saturday morning, we were assembled in a room full of magazines, art supplies and blank poster boards. A leader, Kathy, offered a structured way to get started, but my style was very organic. As the day progressed, I began to judge what I was doing and silently decided my board was sub standard. Silliness. As I write this I remember I had the same thoughts last time I created a vision board. Again, silliness.
Some moments during the day I wanted solitude. I took several walks by myself. Once I found a quiet place to simply cry about a recent break up – my tears falling right into the earth. It felt great and healing. Other times I wanted to be with people – I had soulful conversations at every meal. I went to bed early, read my book from the top bunk in the dorm room, went to sleep with ear plugs in place and had lots and lots of dreams.
The retreat finished on Sunday morning with each person getting a chance to present their vision board. Listening to people one after another speaking about what means most to them – it’s hard to explain the beauty of this. One member called the whole process, “alchemy” and to me there was something sacred, healing and life altering occurring.
I considered for a moment not sharing my board. It felt too vulnerable and, “it wasn’t a real board,” I told myself. Then my right mind told me that it is a generous act when I share. Beautiful, supportive friends cried with me as I gave words to my grief and described what the pictures meant to me.
My vision board.
The ride home was an easy flow. We said our goodbyes and the retreat was over.
Do you crave time away from the busyness of life to go on a retreat? Have you been on one that was really meaningful? I’d love to hear your thoughts. And if you’d like to create a Vision Fridge, at home here’s your chance.
